Speaking of sleep, I think I experienced a lucid dream last night or something close to it.

It was weird. As I went to sleep, I felt my body numb up. I was fully conscious, like I could think, but I couldn’t move or open my eyes (this is usually referred to as sleep paralysis) Then I woke up (but in reality, I’m still dreaming). I was questioning whether I was dreaming or not because I had just experienced sleep paralysis, and it really felt like I woke up. I had full conscious control over my body and my thoughts, and I could physically feel things. I made myself believe that I was awake. I went to go wash my face and went back to sleep. Then I woke up in reality wondering if I was awake earlier or not.

So not exactly an exciting or eventful dream, but it still felt real as fuck. I sometimes experience sleep paralysis, and when I wake up I have a tendency to check if I’m still dreaming or not. I guess last night I successfully gained consciousness in my dream.

It’s some scary shit to be honest.

I hate it when people treat things like they are exclusive to the point where it’s only for them and their close group of friends, and they attempt to keep a low-key status about it. These things usually range from websites to restaurants, music, clothing brands, etc. Personally, my biggest gripe is music, where there are those that refuse to give out the artist and song name for the sake of not having others find out who the artist is. Aww, afraid of your underground artist getting mainstream exposure? Thank god for googling lyrics.

Another thing I find stupid that commonly occurs is when once a significant amount people start finding out about something, the ones who tried keeping it a secret drop it and claim it sucks now because others know about it. Then they go off and try to find other things to make them feel like unique snowflakes.

Why be selfish and act like something you found should be for you only? It’s more necessary to share your findings and spread the word about it. That’s what the creators of the content would have wanted anyway.

Another thing I think that’s annoying is when people claim to be into certain things just to attract the opposite sex. Some blatant examples; girls who claim to be gamers, when the only games they know are the casual shit that everyone else plays, and they barely even pick up videogames on a daily basis. Guys that claim they’re into chick flicks when they don’t even spend free time alone on the sofa watching one. I’m sure you’ve seen people who boast about things like this.

I’m not saying girls aren’t allowed to play videogames, and guys aren’t allowed to watch girly movies, and it’s not limited to just that. It’s when I see people flaunt such things, they almost always include something relatable to the opposite sex and try hard to impress. You can point fingers and call me biased about all of this, but it’s pretty damn obvious if people say things solely for attention. If it was truly an interest to them, they would make it part of their lives, and at least talk about it more than make one corny post saying “IM PERFECT 4 U BECAUSE I LOVE DOING THIS<3333”.

The point is to be yourself and to not go out of your comfort zone to impress someone. And to the two examples I pointed out, I don’t think many guys would find girls who play games as an attractive feature if that’s all they do. Likewise, I’m pretty sure girls would think that the guys that like to watch chick flicks might be a little too feminine for them.

A lot of times, I’m not as ambitious of a person as I’d like to be. I’m never the type to go forth and follow through with whatever I’m thinking about doing. The situations vary, from hesitating to answer a simple question in class, to asking somebody a favor, to initiating conversations with people in general, to wanting to participate in something, the list goes on. The times I feel like I should do something, I don’t.

I always feel like there would be consequences if I were to take that specific initiative, so I lay back. I don’t want to be judged or looked at funny or any of that, and I’m just always nervous about bringing attention to myself. If it’s on competitive terms, I’m afraid of losing or failure. I just lack confidence and acceptance. It’s one of many personal problems I’m trying to fix about myself.

It’s annoying how people who claim they have a good musical taste boast about how music isn’t real anymore, and they refuse to anything ””mainstream”” solely because it’s popular, or anything with little meaning and negative connotation because apparently to them it’s not relevant. 

I understand that everyone has a preference, but refusing to listen to artists because everyone else listens to them, or thinking a particular genre of music sucks because it can’t be related to is a little close-minded and aren’t very legitimate reasons to express dislike. I feel like a truly developed musical taste comes from the ability to accept music no matter how it’s presented. 

Having positive memories helps outweigh the negative feelings. It’s effective how, when I’m in a terrible mood, I always think back to when there were zero problems. I had no worries, no feelings of resentment, none of that. I could tell myself that I wish I could go back to those simpler times, but that’s stupid. Wishing alone will never come true unless something is physically done about it. 

For me, if I put the effort into fixing what’s wrong with me, everything will return back to normal. As long as I know and assess the problem I have, the negative feelings will go away. Tonight, I took a long time thinking about why I was angry. Then I compared it with when I never got angry, and reminded myself how much more significant that time period was. I want things to go back to the way they used to be. I will achieve that again, all I need to do is try and get over my problem.

The problem I’m having is due to miscommunication. Whenever I’m angry, I never tell anyone. I automatically assume that they know, and expect them to comfort me. I believe the only way to fix that problem is to say exactly what’s bothering me, instead of keeping them in the dark and totally oblivious to my emotions. The bad thing is, I encourage that people let others know whatever is on their mind, but I’m being a massive hypocrite because I tell people to do this, when I’m not following this advice myself, at all. I know my problem now, and it’s going to change.

I think having 100% flexible customization for your Tumblr theme is one of the strongest points about the whole site. It gives the user complete freedom as they can virtually design anything they want. I especially enjoy making themes, for myself and for others. It’s always nice having an exclusive theme nobody else has, who doesn’t like being unique right? :)

I believe anyone has the capability to make themes. It just requires full attention, competence, and a little knowledge. I’ll just bulletpoint some things that helped me become successful in making themes. I know most of this is common sense, and I’m pointing out the obvious, but it doesn’t hurt to list in detail anyway. I feel like writing.

• Familiarize yourself with HTML (the basic code used to display content on a page) and CSS (a style code used to edit the properties of the content). Those are the two most common forms of code used to build webpages. You can either learn the basics online (w3schools is a good source) or if you have Web classes that aren’t mediocre in your high school/college, consider taking those courses. I’ve taken a simple web class and it helped me improve my skills majorly. I personally know a lot about HTML through Myspace because I used to edit/make layouts daily. With CSS, I had to look at different Tumblr themes and Google tutorials on how to script CSS, it took about a good month or so to get the hang of it.
• Once you have a really good handle on HTML formatting, read up on Tumbr’s custom theme page to learn about how a theme is written.
• Observe the code of various Tumblr themes that already exist, and figure out what object is what. Get ahold of a web design program where you can see your webpage as you work on it. I use Adobe Dreamweaver CS4. Since downloading is fairly easy nowadays you could probably Google search and find it yourself. ;) The first theme I’ve ever tinkered with was Simple Strawberry. I remember learning a lot about CSS by looking at the layout and studying it, along with Googling bits of code I didn’t know about.
• Start from scratch! Once you fully understand how a theme works, and you feel you’re confident enough, put all of your knowledge into it and attempt to make your own theme.

I’ll be honest, this is all easier said than done. But with practice (and good memorization skills when it comes to coding) you’ll be able to make any sort of theme you want. 

For me, it took a good couple months to even understand how Tumblr themes work. I had basic HTML knowledge and very little CSS. The very first theme I made, took roughly two weeks to actually make look good and had a lot of errors. About 9 months or so of learning and creating more themes, I’ve gone from spending weeks building a theme to a couple hours.

I hope this post inspires some of you that have been wanting to make themes forever but don’t believe you can. It takes time, and since it’s practically summer, it’s the perfect time to sit down and learn. If you have any questions about theme making, just ask me and I’ll help! I’m fairly confident in my abilities enough to answer simple questions. Thanks to whoever was bored enough to read this lengthy post. Bye!

I just finished cleaning my harddrive and sorted out a lot of junk that’s accumulated from various cameras I’ve used over the past year, and I’d like to share a thought that I think would give you some benefit whenever you’re out.

Invest in a camera and take it everywhere you go. The camera on your phone, DSLR, pocket digital, anything. Just have something handy along those lines with you, and use it whenever you can.

Photos and video, to me at least, are more of a sentimental object than anything. I love capturing for the memories rather than for the sake of art, even though sometimes shots I take could be considered presentable pieces. I take my camera along with me when I’m out sometimes, and try to capture whatever I can when I feel like it.

It’s very refreshing looking back on things I’ve taken, even if it was as early as a month ago. Events, places I’ve been to, and just something as simple as hanging out with my friends. Although the things I took seem very small and weren’t really life impacting, being reminded of what I did that time is so refreshing. I love looking back on and reliving all of the memories that slip my mind.

Overall, it’s a good way to archive your life, and it gives you so much material to reminisce about in the future.

Also, writing this post made me realize something. I used to be peeved when people on Facebook would upload 100+ photos to Facebook, but I understand now it’s more for the memories to share than anything. And that’s completely fine. If you knew me you know that I dislike photo sharing, because it is the internet and anyone could save your personal photos, but whatever floats their boat I guess.

If you’re going to start a clothing line, at least be original. Don’t expect to be successful if your designs consist of phrases in overused fonts and graphics that took a couple minutes to make.

I’m just irked because every “clothing brand” that I see people try to attempt consists of the things I mentioned above. A brand name with no meaning. Corny and often graphics of dumb shit like Mickey Mouse hands or original characters made with the pen tool in Photoshop. Quotes related to the area you live in, or “hype”. Every attempt I’ve seen is just the same boring shit over and over.

Two things that should go into design: Effort and concept.
Effort, in the fact that if you’re going to put artwork on a shirt, you would spend more than five minutes on that piece of art. I sure as hell will not buy a shirt with artwork that looks like it was made by a kindergartener.
Concept. Create (Not to be confused with idea stealing) something clever that would catch people’s eyes, to the point where it would make them tear apart the internet wanting to know where they could buy it. 

Again, effort and concept. These are the two things that lack when I see designs made by these clothing lines. My best advice for those who want to create a clothing line, but aren’t able to grasp these simple rules and are in it just for the money: Don’t bother.

I have a super giant soft spot for homeless people. Whenever I see a person down on their luck out in the streets, it reminds me of how good I have it. How I have a family, more than one pair of clothes, and that I have a warm bed to sleep in and a roof over my head. Simple things I shouldn’t take for granted. When one happens to approach me asking for money, I always lend them enough for them to go buy food or whatever they need. It’s so self-gratifying seeing their eyes light up and hearing words of encouragement from them. I think I hear “God bless” the most. I give them money because if I were in their position, I would beg for all the help I could get too. 

I dislike when people turn a blind eye and assume the worst about the homeless. I’ve heard people say close-minded things along the lines of “they’re a bum because they’ve made bad decisions”. But it’s hard to make assumptions of their background. They could’ve been a failure, drug addict, a drunk like what everyone expects, OR they could’ve been someone that lived a normal life, but later on something beyond their power happened and they ended up losing everything. I don’t judge why they’re homeless, I already see that they’re in a bad enough spot. All they really need is support.

In terms of how I carry myself as far as spending money on clothes, I’m happy.

A couple years ago I was very conscious about my image. I used to be the type that went to the mall every so often and would always buy something. Clothes, expensive shoes, whatever it took to look good. I think the most detrimental thing about this was that I wore a lot of high-priced brands just for the sake of being “cool”. I honestly feel like wearing expensive clothes is more of an ego booster than anything. Something to flaunt, and say “hey, I can afford this”. But there really wasn’t a gain. Of course I felt satisfied repping something expensive, but it wasn’t going to impress a lot of people since not many of them even knew nor cared about the brand. I don’t regret or blame myself for being like this. It was just a silly phase I went through because I was wrapped up in the retarded fashion hype.

As I got older I started to realize the value of the dollar, and that there were more important things I should be spending money on. Clothes now to me are now the least priority when it comes to shopping. A name-brand shirt with an elaborate design that cost $35 means just as much to me as a $3 plain tee, because it’s basically the same shit that serves the same purpose, which is to cover your body. I actually rarely shop anymore. Whenever I do, instead of looking in the new arrival sections in stores I always scavenge around the sales section looking for something under $5.

Every now and then I still fiend over some stuff, like vintage hats or shoes, but I never commit to them. I have enough self-restraint to know how to spend my money wisely.

I’m back, this time attempting to actually blog like I used to rather than solely act like an idiot for some cheap laughs.

I remember when I used to write more than one sentence posts on here, and took this website seriously. I had a fairly organized blog and people enjoyed it. As time went on there was a fine line where I realized the mediocrity of Tumblr, and how it was full of tryhard teenagers that did everything it took to become “Tumblr Famous”. Kids that were just note and attention craving, or trying too hard to hop on the latest meme and attempt to be funny. Trying to spit game over the internet. Stupid shit like that.

I felt resentment and didn’t take Tumblr seriously at all, and got rid of my old blog without hesitation. I made a new one and started to become offensive and hateful towards those types of users. I thought it was hilarious, and people had their share of laughs. But if you think about it, it’s just as bad as if I were one of those tryhard kids. It’s not really positive thinking to put down something or someone, because that’s judging, and I really have no right to judge. I don’t think anyone does.

I thought it over, and I remember when I first started using Tumblr, it was very enjoyable and innocent to a degree. I wasn’t using offensive humor to make people laugh, and people agreed with whatever I wrote about. I made a lot of acquaintances and people admired me. It was just a cool experience and I’d like to go back to the old times.

In terms of the users, this website had changed drastically over this year. But I know that there are people that would want me to go back to my old ways of blogging. I would rather appeal to them because that was the time I was the most respectful and I had the most fun.

So what can you expect from me now? More writing, definitely. I’ll try to get out my thoughts rather than linger on and never write anything, I had trouble with that in the past. I’ll also start posting my artwork again, because I loved sharing my work with people and getting positive feedback. And of course I’ll still joke around a lot, I’ll just have to use cleaner humor this time.

Thank you for reading this long post of mine and stopping by! I feel silly for sharing my views about Tumblr and making it seem like a big deal, because after all it’s just a website. But it does have some value to me and I’d like to start fresh, I feel like I could have fun again. :)